Connecting with our Inner Child…
Being mindful of how we are treating ourselves and showing up with love is the antidote for self abuse. Noticing when the critical voice in our head is telling us we’re not good enough or as far along as we should be. Finding every reason to find fault because it too, loves us. Yes the critical voice loves us too. It only wants to protect us from feeling more pain except it doesn’t really know how.
Embodying the adult/wise loving self is how we start to transform the relationship we have with our inner child and the critical voice. What does she/he need in order to feel seen, heard and fully expressed. And how can we start showing up differently to meet those needs? Our Inner Child has the power to guide us to greater levels of fulfillment and empowerment.
Perhaps there is something we have always wanted to do but for whatever reason we have defaulted to something that doesn’t really light us up. How can we start to include more of what we love into our daily lives? There might be a lot of resistance at first, and the mind may start telling us we’re crazy, who are we to be doing this, that we really should be more sensible, rational, responsible.
We can hold space for our minds too, knowing they are just wanting to keep us safe. And there is now an opportunity to move beyond this familiar voice, into unfamiliar territory. This is where new energy, new opportunity, passion and creativity live.
It may take concentrated effort to get here, but it feels so much more uplifting, expansive and energizing on the other side.
The fragment of a dream came back to me today…
I was digging my bare hands into the earth, getting them covered in mud as I was pulling up weeds. There was someone hovering over me, a man I think, although I can’t remember who he was. He was horrified that I wasn’t wearing gloves. I smiled gleefully back at him and exclaimed that I could feel deep into the earth this way. I felt really happy.
This remembering of how the earth feels is how we are going to heal. Feeling into something as part of ourselves is how we learn not to take it for granted. We care about it as much as we care about ourselves. The gloves to me represent a barrier or disconnect between two things that are naturally connected.
This connection is never lost, it is only weakened.
We are always connected to Her as she is the very reason we are alive.
No matter how advanced our technology becomes it can never replace Her.
I need to spend more time outside strengthening this connection.
To find out what She needs from me.
I want to wake up now.
What lead you to become a Life Coach?
I always knew that I wanted to do something that was meaningful and creative in some way. I was first drawn to the personal development field when I was at university and was struggling to fit into how I thought I should be living my life. Both my parents had cancer at the time, and I was also experiencing my own health challenges, which lead me to question what was important to me, and most especially, how I wanted to live my life. I hadn’t always felt safe expressing my truth around this, and I felt restricted by external expectations. Instead of continuing with a masters degree in English Literature, I decided to go travelling instead, which lead me to study Therapeutic Aromatherapy and Reiki. When I moved from South Africa to Canada in 2010, I thought I would share these healing skills with others, but I soon realized that I was still deeply in the process of healing myself, and that doing physical hands-on body work drained me. So I listened and started looking into how I could still work with people through the means of talking and holding energetic space. Coaching then presented itself to me as an opportunity. I experienced first hand the effects of being coached, and loved how empowering it felt to be consciously designing my life, while feeling deeply supported and guided in the process.
Why are you doing what you do?
I do what I do because I want to provide women with the opportunity to know how empowering it feels to live as conscious co-creators of their reality. To know that we are always co-creating with Life and the Divine. To realize that we have the power to make changes and live from our hearts. To stop operating from unconscious agreements, as well as playing out old and limited thought and behaviour patterns. I want to provide women with the opportunity to wake up to their own power and their true nature, to let go of patterns that are destructive to them and the planet, and to live their most inspired and fulfilling lives.
I am speaking particularly to women who have felt oppressed by any internal and external structures that do not truly serve their well-being, or that of the planet. These women have had to dim their light in order to stay safe, as well as suppress their intuition; their connection with the Divine. They have listened to and absorbed thoughts and opinions that do not belong to them, and that are not a true reflection of who they really are.
My desire is that these women receive the nurturing and guidance they need, to heal the wounds of the past, and to live to their full potential.
Is this always what you’ve wanted to do?
Yes, but I didn’t realize it would come in the form of life coaching. For a long time I’ve identified with the archetype of the Wounded Healer. I knew that I needed to heal my own wounds before I could help others to heal theirs. I also know now that there is always more healing to do, and this in itself can become an excuse not to begin the work of serving others.
What results do you see in your clients?
The main results I have witnessed in my clients are an increased sense of personal power, including self-expression and alignment with the core truth of who they really are. Externally this has resulted in rapid changes to their work, as well as their personal lives, all of which have blossomed in many different ways. All the women I’ve worked with have come closer to expressing themselves as they truly are, letting go of what is no longer working, while listening to and deepening the connection with their Intuition and the Divine. As a whole they have transcended their fear, moved through obstacles, and courageously walked towards a vision of life that truly lights them up.
Where do you see coaching fit in the personal development field?
I see coaching as a very powerful self development tool. It puts the power back into the hands of every client because they are the ones deciding where they want to go, and what steps they need to take. The role of the coach is to hold space for the client, to ask deep questions, so that the client’s wisdom and truth bubbles up to the surface. The coach is there to support, reflect, encourage, uplift, and celebrate their client every step of the way. As a result the client is able to go much further than if they were to undertake the journey alone.
How does what you do matter?
It matters because every person whose life is changed for the better affects countless other people. When one person feels empowered then they are much more likely to empower, uplift, and inspire others. This stops the victim/perpetrator chain reaction. When people are given permission to follow their heart and their Soul’s path, then this creates a world where more and more people are living to their full potential. Imagine what an incredibly beautiful world this will be, when everyone is thriving and blossoming. This is my inspired vision and why I do what I do.
On the 1st January this year, I attended a retreat lead by Shaki Malan in the Cederberg mountains in South Africa. The first night there was a powerful lightning storm which struck the bushes near our tents and started a fire. Everybody scrambled to get their belongings as some went to fight the fire and others prepared to evacuate the camp. Thankfully there was no wind, but due to the average 40 degree daily temperatures at the time, the landscape was parched and the fire spread quickly. Eventually the fire truck arrived from a town about thirty minutes away and managed to put it out.
Ever since then I feel that fire has something powerful to teach me. I can feel it warning me of something I need to be aware of; something I’m not yet fully seeing. It’s showing me what needs to change, what I need to look at within myself and in my outer circumstances that I need to let go of, to release into the flames to be transmuted and refined.
It signifies to me the fire in the world today, the burning of the old systems that are under collapse. It asks me to choose what I most value to take with me on the next leg of the journey. Where do I want to be? Who do I want to be with? What do I want to be doing? It burns unapologetically through what no longer serves. It dances a fine line between destruction and transformation, and asks, is there really a difference? The mind says that fire contained is our ALLY and fire uncontained is HELL. It seems the collective has chosen to experience a version of hell right now. I wonder how much do we need to fear this. How might we use this fire and this fear as a warning signal to prepare ourselves. And how much do we allow ourselves to be consumed?
Sometimes being consumed is what is needed. Rumi speaks to this in his poem The Question (see below). What looks like fire is a great relief to be inside. In the Western Cape of South Africa there is a specific type of vegetation called Fynbos that actually needs fire in order for the dormant seeds to germinate. Fire is the crucial trigger that ensures the survival of this particular plant species. Bearing in mind the optimal fire cycle for fynbos is between 10-14 years, and anything shorter than this can wipe out slow-maturing species. Anything longer and species start dying, so as always in nature there is a perfect balance.
What does fire have to teach us in a world that seems way out of balance? Sometimes we forget that we are nature. We’re part of that delicate balance. Where do we need to step into the flames of our own transformation? Where might we allow ourselves to be consumed? And what dormant seeds might germinate if we jump into the light of the fire? We may not recognize ourselves on the other side, and that may not be such a bad thing. We may die in the process, and then again, we might just bloom.
God’s presence is there in front of me, a fire on the left, a lovely stream on the right.
One group walks toward the fire, into the fire, another toward the sweet flowing water.
No one knows which are blessed and which not.
Whoever walks into the fire appears suddenly in the stream.
A head goes under on the water surface, that head pokes out of the fire.
Most people guard against going into the fire, and so end up in it.
Those who love the water of pleasure and make it their devotion are cheated with this reversal.
The trickery goes further.
The voice of the fire tells the truth saying, I am not fire. I am
fountainhead. Come into me and don’t mind the sparks.
If you are a friend of God, fire is your water.
You should wish to have a hundred thousand sets of mothwings, so you could burn them away, one set a night.
The moth sees light and goes into the fire. You should see fire and go toward the light. Fire is what of God- is world-consuming. Water, world-protecting.
Somehow each gives the appearance of the other. To these eyes you have now, what looks like water, burns. What looks like fire is a great relief to be inside.
~Rumi, The Question (translated by Coleman Barks)