My Why


There is no freedom without love and there is no love without freedom.

And it is possible to hold space for lack of freedom, which is love, and lack of love, which creates freedom. 

We are creators, and we are born with the ability to transmute the pain of our collective wounds and suffering; to create beauty; to become more of who we really are. So that we become true healers.

I feel the work I am here to do is to play my part in this collective healing. To support those who feel called to work with me, while I continue to do my own personal work. Until we are all free of suffering there is work to do. 

I am here to devote my time to supporting others in finding and fulfilling their deeper purpose; giving sustenance to the seeds of potential they hold; helping them to release the structures that are holding them back, so that they connect more deeply to their own dreams, desires, and intuition.  

The pain behind ‘my why’ is rooted in lack of true support. The thing that causes me the most pain is witnessing people (especially women) who are not receiving the support they need in order to truly flourish as free and sovereign beings. I have felt and witnessed this pain in my own life, and I am deliberately taking steps to find the tools and practices that I believe are essential for this flourishing. 

If you choose to work with me I promise to hold space for you with deep love and care. Please know that my intention is to create an energetic container for you that results in your flourishing, if you choose this. The joy behind ‘my why’ comes from witnessing this in you. I want nothing less than your freedom, whatever that may look and feel like for you. 

My deeper why is in service of this planet. I believe that until we come into alignment with our own true purpose, we are not in alignment with Her. Now more than ever, we need to feel this connection. Our flourishing is a direct result of Her, it is not the other way around. We cannot flourish without Her. Right now the sad truth is that she may be better off without us, unless we choose to value Her above all else. 

This is a journey of many steps, and I invite you to join me. If you would like to explore 1:1 coaching with me you can connect here to apply for a free Clarity Call. I would feel honoured to support you on your journey.

Re-imagine Yourself


I’ve heard it said that cultivating imagination is one of the greatest gifts you can give to a child. 

I agree. And I also believe it’s one of the greatest gifts you can give to yourself.

If we were lucky enough to receive this gift as children, we may have lost it as we grew up and entered mainstream society. This is where imagination is potentially threatening to those people who want to keep us small, and in a box that is most convenient for them. 

Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere - Albert Einstein

What if we don’t want to live in that box anymore? 

Breaking free is something that needs to be imagined before any real movement can happen. A wild horse would break free in an instant. 

Unfortunately many of us have been tamed and broken. We don’t believe in our wildness anymore. We don’t trust in it to take care of us. 

Creating space for imagination is one of the most potent gifts we can give to ourselves, and others.

Everything you can imagine is real - Pablo Picasso

If we can imagine our freedom, then we’re experiencing it here and now. We’re already free. It sounds so simple and yet it’s not always easy.

Perhaps we don’t yet believe that we deserve this freedom. That it could be a reality for us right now. And yet this is only true if we look to our past conditionings or wounding as evidence for our disbelief.

Who are we beyond this? If we allowed ourselves to feel the pain and transmute its energy, what might we discover beyond the wounding and conditioning? If we gave ourselves the gift of imagining for just 5 minutes a day, what is now open to us that we didn’t have access to before? What are we able to feel that we couldn’t feel before?

Practice: I challenge you to look at a specific area of your life that you are struggling with right now, and allow yourself to really feel the pain of it. Allow any feelings to come up to be released. Take as much time as you need, and feel free to journal around exactly how you feel. Give yourself enough time to do this, and trust that you will know when you feel complete. When you are ready, start opening yourself up to the reality of feeling differently in this specific area. It may feel extremely challenging at first, but don’t give up. Play some soothing music and set a timer for 5 minutes. Start imagining the best way things could unfold from now on. Even if it seems really far-fetched or out of reach, I challenge you to stretch yourself. If thoughts from the past come up, remind yourself that the past is the past. Imagine how you really want to feel, right now. When the timer goes off, stop and just notice how you feel. Spend some time journaling around these new feelings. Also notice what happens as you go about your life. Are new opportunities presenting themselves? Stay open and curious. Start gathering evidence for this new story you are writing.

Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited to all we now know and understand, while imagination embraces the entire world, and all there ever will be to know and understand - Albert Einstein

Inner Child


Connecting with our Inner Child…

Being mindful of how we are treating ourselves and showing up with love is the antidote for self abuse. Noticing when the critical voice in our head is telling us we’re not good enough or as far along as we should be. Finding every reason to find fault because it too, loves us. Yes the critical voice loves us too. It only wants to protect us from feeling more pain except it doesn’t really know how.

Embodying the adult/wise loving self is how we start to transform the relationship we have with our inner child and the critical voice. What does she/he need in order to feel seen, heard and fully expressed. And how can we start showing up differently to meet those needs? Our Inner Child has the power to guide us to greater levels of fulfillment and empowerment. 

Perhaps there is something we have always wanted to do but for whatever reason we have defaulted to something that doesn’t really light us up. How can we start to include more of what we love into our daily lives? There might be a lot of resistance at first, and the mind may start telling us we’re crazy, who are we to be doing this, that we really should be more sensible, rational, responsible.

We can hold space for our minds too, knowing they are just wanting to keep us safe. And there is now an opportunity to move beyond this familiar voice, into unfamiliar territory. This is where new energy, new opportunity, passion and creativity live.

It may take concentrated effort to get here, but it feels so much more uplifting, expansive and energizing on the other side.

Earth Dream


The fragment of a dream came back to me today…

I was digging my bare hands into the earth, getting them covered in mud as I was pulling up weeds. There was someone hovering over me, a man I think, although I can’t remember who he was. He was horrified that I wasn’t wearing gloves. I smiled gleefully back at him and exclaimed that I could feel deep into the earth this way. I felt really happy. 

This remembering of how the earth feels is how we are going to heal. Feeling into something as part of ourselves is how we learn not to take it for granted. We care about it as much as we care about ourselves. The gloves to me represent a barrier or disconnect between two things that are naturally connected. 

This connection is never lost, it is only weakened. 
We are always connected to Her as she is the very reason we are alive.

No matter how advanced our technology becomes it can never replace Her.

I need to spend more time outside strengthening this connection. 
To find out what She needs from me. 

I want to wake up now.


_JL18564-copy (2).jpg

What lead you to become a Life Coach?

I always knew that I wanted to do something that was meaningful and creative in some way. I was first drawn to the personal development field when I was at university and was struggling to fit into how I thought I should be living my life. Both my parents had cancer at the time, and I was also experiencing my own health challenges, which lead me to question what was important to me, and most especially, how I wanted to live my life. I hadn’t always felt safe expressing my truth around this, and I felt restricted by external expectations. Instead of continuing with a masters degree in English Literature, I decided to go travelling instead, which lead me to study Therapeutic Aromatherapy and Reiki. When I moved from South Africa to Canada in 2010, I thought I would share these healing skills with others, but I soon realized that I was still deeply in the process of healing myself, and that doing physical hands-on body work drained me. So I listened and started looking into how I could still work with people through the means of talking and holding energetic space. Coaching then presented itself to me as an opportunity. I experienced first hand the effects of being coached, and loved how empowering it felt to be consciously designing my life, while feeling deeply supported and guided in the process. 

Why are you doing what you do?

I do what I do because I want to provide women with the opportunity to know how empowering it feels to live as conscious co-creators of their reality. To know that we are always co-creating with Life and the Divine. To realize that we have the power to make changes and live from our hearts. To stop operating from unconscious agreements, as well as playing out old and limited thought and behaviour patterns. I want to provide women with the opportunity to wake up to their own power and their true nature, to let go of patterns that are destructive to them and the planet, and to live their most inspired and fulfilling lives.

I am speaking particularly to women who have felt oppressed by any internal and external structures that do not truly serve their well-being, or that of the planet. These women have had to dim their light in order to stay safe, as well as suppress their intuition; their connection with the Divine. They have listened to and absorbed thoughts and opinions that do not belong to them, and that are not a true reflection of who they really are.   

My desire is that these women receive the nurturing and guidance they need, to heal the wounds of the past, and to live to their full potential.

Is this always what you’ve wanted to do?

Yes, but I didn’t realize it would come in the form of life coaching. For a long time I’ve identified with the archetype of the Wounded Healer. I knew that I needed to heal my own wounds before I could help others to heal theirs. I also know now that there is always more healing to do, and this in itself can become an excuse not to begin the work of serving others.

What results do you see in your clients?

The main results I have witnessed in my clients are an increased sense of personal power, including self-expression and alignment with the core truth of who they really are. Externally this has resulted in rapid changes to their work, as well as their personal lives, all of which have blossomed in many different ways. All the women I’ve worked with have come closer to expressing themselves as they truly are, letting go of what is no longer working, while listening to and deepening the connection with their Intuition and the Divine. As a whole they have transcended their fear, moved through obstacles, and courageously walked towards a vision of life that truly lights them up.

Where do you see coaching fit in the personal development field?

I see coaching as a very powerful self development tool. It puts the power back into the hands of every client because they are the ones deciding where they want to go, and what steps they need to take. The role of the coach is to hold space for the client, to ask deep questions, so that the client’s wisdom and truth bubbles up to the surface. The coach is there to support, reflect, encourage, uplift, and celebrate their client every step of the way. As a result the client is able to go much further than if they were to undertake the journey alone. 

How does what you do matter?

It matters because every person whose life is changed for the better affects countless other people. When one person feels empowered then they are much more likely to empower, uplift, and inspire others. This stops the victim/perpetrator chain reaction. When people are given permission to follow their heart and their Soul’s path, then this creates a world where more and more people are living to their full potential. Imagine what an incredibly beautiful world this will be, when everyone is thriving and blossoming. This is my inspired vision and why I do what I do.

If you are interested in working with me, I would love to hear from you. Please read my Coaching page here, and apply for a complimentary Clarity Call. You can also download my free ebook “11 Powerful Practices to Deepen Your Intuition” here.



On the 1st January this year, I attended a retreat lead by Shaki Malan in the Cederberg mountains in South Africa. The first night there was a powerful lightning storm which struck the bushes near our tents and started a fire. Everybody scrambled to get their belongings as some went to fight the fire and others prepared to evacuate the camp. Thankfully there was no wind, but due to the average 40 degree daily temperatures at the time, the landscape was parched and the fire spread quickly. Eventually the fire truck arrived from a town about thirty minutes away and managed to put it out.

Ever since then I feel that fire has something powerful to teach me. I can feel it warning me of something I need to be aware of; something I’m not yet fully seeing. It’s showing me what needs to change, what I need to look at within myself and in my outer circumstances that I need to let go of, to release into the flames to be transmuted and refined.

It signifies to me the fire in the world today, the burning of the old systems that are under collapse. It asks me to choose what I most value to take with me on the next leg of the journey. Where do I want to be? Who do I want to be with? What do I want to be doing? It burns unapologetically through what no longer serves. It dances a fine line between destruction and transformation, and asks, is there really a difference? The mind says that fire contained is our ALLY and fire uncontained is HELL. It seems the collective has chosen to experience a version of hell right now. I wonder how much do we need to fear this. How might we use this fire and this fear as a warning signal to prepare ourselves. And how much do we allow ourselves to be consumed?

Sometimes being consumed is what is needed. Rumi speaks to this in his poem The Question (see below). What looks like fire is a great relief to be inside. In the Western Cape of South Africa there is a specific type of vegetation called Fynbos that actually needs fire in order for the dormant seeds to germinate. Fire is the crucial trigger that ensures the survival of this particular plant species. Bearing in mind the optimal fire cycle for fynbos is between 10-14 years, and anything shorter than this can wipe out slow-maturing species. Anything longer and species start dying, so as always in nature there is a perfect balance.

What does fire have to teach us in a world that seems way out of balance? Sometimes we forget that we are nature. We’re part of that delicate balance. Where do we need to step into the flames of our own transformation? Where might we allow ourselves to be consumed? And what dormant seeds might germinate if we jump into the light of the fire? We may not recognize ourselves on the other side, and that may not be such a bad thing. We may die in the process, and then again, we might just bloom.

God’s presence is there in front of me, a fire on the left, a lovely stream on the right.
One group walks toward the fire, into the fire, another toward the sweet flowing water.
No one knows which are blessed and which not.
Whoever walks into the fire appears suddenly in the stream.
A head goes under on the water surface, that head pokes out of the fire.
Most people guard against going into the fire, and so end up in it.
Those who love the water of pleasure and make it their devotion are cheated with this reversal.
The trickery goes further.
The voice of the fire tells the truth saying, I am not fire. I am
fountainhead. Come into me and don’t mind the sparks.
If you are a friend of God, fire is your water.
You should wish to have a hundred thousand sets of mothwings, so you could burn them away, one set a night.
The moth sees light and goes into the fire. You should see fire and go toward the light. Fire is what of God- is world-consuming. Water, world-protecting.
Somehow each gives the appearance of the other. To these eyes you have now, what looks like water, burns. What looks like fire is a great relief to be inside.
~Rumi, The Question (translated by Coleman Barks)





The solar plexus or third chakra is our centre of Knowing. When we make decisions based on this internal guidance system life seems to take on a kind of magic as people and situations flow into our experience effortlessly. Ignoring this information, because it might not seem “real”, can lead to stunted growth and energetic dead ends.

Thankfully my inner guidance system has always been very loud, but in many cases I’ve been blinded by what I perceived to be the truth when in actuality it was the opposite. It’s difficult to turn around from a perception or a decision that has already been formulated and brought into existence. But this is what we must do if we are to free ourselves from situations that really are not benefitting us.

How do we strengthen this power centre within us and allow our inner sun to shine more brightly? First we must acknowledge that the invisible information we are receiving carries weight. It’s easy to dismiss this information just because it cannot always be seen or felt through the physical senses. But if we become attuned to this energy and give it the credibility it deserves, it becomes an invisible helper in times when we most need help.

Being in touch with our emotions is the key to unlocking this guidance system. If a potential decision makes us feel extremely hesitant, contracted or queazy, this valuable information is showing us that it may not be the best decision to make at the time.  On the other hand, if a potential decision brings about feelings of excitement, expansion and relief, we know this is a path worth considering and will enhance our growth. Sometimes we still feel a huge amount of fear and resistance making a decision that we know will benefit us, but it holds a different quality of feeling than a decision that is potentially “wrong” for us. There is still a feeling of “yes” despite the fear. And even if we end up making a “wrong” decision, it is still potentially very useful in helping us move into better-feeling choices.

It’s so easy to fall into the trap of believing that our answers lie outside of us, but the truth is, no matter how many external opinions you receive, there is nothing more valuable than your opinion to you. This is why it’s so important to develop a practice of connecting to your deeper truth. We can do this in a number of ways, such as through yoga, meditation, journaling, or spending time in nature.

It’s important to make the distinction between connecting with our Soul Self and not just hearing the opinion of our rational mind or ego self. The Soul is deeply connected to our heart, so any guidance we receive or decision made from this place is infused with the energy of Love. Fear, on the other hand, comes from limited perception. If we can remember that there is always another way of looking at things, that nothing ever really stays the same, we allow ourselves to break free into a more expanded viewpoint. Like standing on the edge of a beach watching a sunset, it may seem that we’re receiving a limited amount of light from the sun, but this does not in any way mean that the sun itself is limited. We just have to allow ourselves to receive the light that is always available to us.



We are all here birthing something. The very nature of Life is creation, whether that is new life through the myriad of species, or something less tangible born in the depths of imagination, it all comes from the same space, the one Sacred Womb that gives life to all.

The painful truth is that we all go through miscarriages. We hold something sacred in our energetic womb for a period of gestation and nurturing, and it becomes apparent that the life we thought we were creating is not going to come to full term in its present form. There is a period of release and letting go, of bleeding, and of deep grief and shattering. The womb holds all this energy, the bloody chaos, as well as the seeds for the tallest trees.

When we allow this release, along with the full range of emotions that accompany it, which could be absolute rage, sadness, hopeless despair or depression, we honour the form that was not to be, but which we held sacred. We release the energy back to Spirit and surrender control until we choose to plant the seeds again. The cycles and seasons remind us that death is not final, but merely a transition to the next stage in the cycle. We remember that Spring must follow Winter, and a time for planting will come again.

We live in a society that doesn’t always provide space or nurturing for this deep grieving. We’re expected to get on with our lives, to pretend we’re fine and get back into DOING or accomplishing. We’re encouraged to deny our intuition, our very specific inner guidance connecting us to our Source of deeper wisdom, encouraging us to FEEL. Unfortunately it is much more socially acceptable to numb out and get on with things. This may work for a period of time, but eventually our feeling body catches up with us. Unless we become conscious of the way that we’ve been programmed, and the messages we’ve received about emotion in general, it will feel like we’re constantly resisting something. And what we resist, persists.

Listening to and validating how we feel is the only way to soften this resistance. We stop fighting with what already is, and actually encourage it to come forwards as valuable information. Just imagine how different this world might be if we actually listened to this information and THEN acted, as opposed to taking action because we’re AFRAID of feeling. How differently might we behave? What deeper needs might be revealed which could then be met?

When we give space to our deepest wounds, healing takes place naturally. Once we’re able to meet ourselves in these depths, we’re much more able to meet others in their places of suffering. It is here that new seeds are planted, new desires and new hopes take root, and out of this great depth, this sacred womb, new life makes its way up to the light and the cycle of Life continues.



I’ve been thinking about what it really means to be connected and rooted to the Earth, to feel like we belong here.

We spend our lives rushing from place to place, eating food from all around the globe, our heads bent over our computers and cell phones, it’s no wonder we feel disconnected from the very ground that supports us, sustains us, that essentially keeps us alive. We receive energy from mother Earth through our Root chakra, but if this is blocked, or we don’t find ways of connecting to the Earth, then this energy does not flow freely and as a result we feel ungrounded and unsupported by Life.

I experienced disruptions in this energy flow when I uprooted myself from my home country, South Africa, about six years ago, and essentially transplanted myself to a new and foreign land. I didn’t realize at the time just how long it would take for these new roots to grow. During this time I feel like I’ve been in a container, waiting for the right environment in which to transplant myself. There has still been enormous growth, so much so that some of the roots have extended through the holes in the sides and out the bottom of my container, and yet there is something that stops me from planting myself.

I am still figuring out the reasons for this. I ask myself, do I belong here? Do I trust life to support me? Sometimes I feel I’m one of those alien invaders, a stranger in a strange land, not belonging anywhere anymore. If I’m honest there is pain in this realisation. And, like any dark enclosed space, a kind of suffocation. And yet I sit here, in this container, and I wait. I find myself breathing deep into the core of the earth and touching the golden sap like energy, which feels like home to me, and is as connected to African soil as I once was. I faintly feel the connection that I’m longing for, a flicker of lights like those seen from outer space and which signal LIFE.

Some nights I wake up and feel that all my energy is up near my head ready to leave my body. I sit on the edge of my bed with awareness in my feet, bringing myself back down again. I remind myself that there is a purpose to being here. At some point I chose it. And I list everything and everyone I am grateful for until peace washes over me, and I sink deeper into myself again.

I’ve come to know this dark place. I used to give in to every impulse to run from it. Sitting in the dark and facing your pain requires something of you. You’re not sure whether you have that thing to give until you give it. You’re not sure whether you can always make that payment. Because it is a payment. It requires you to give of yourself in a way you’ve never given before. It requires you to be present with your own pain, to not abandon yourself like you’ve done so in the past.

The gift you receive in return is a very slow remembering, a quiet breathing space where hope dwells, which punctures the holes in your container for more of your roots to grow outwards. It whispers to you of your dreams, the ones you had as a child when you were running through wild grasses and picking jasmine with the hot sun on your back. It whispers to you of places that have yet to be discovered, of new lands and salty shores with vast expanses of fertile soil telling you that this is where you belong.



A friend recently gifted me some Black Spruce resin all the way from the Eastern side of Canada. It’s pretty amazing how certain things find their way to you when you need them the most.

This resin came from a Black Spruce that had uprooted in a storm and fell across the walking path. My friend gathered up the dried sap, which was laying in the melting snow, into the warm nest of his pocket. When I first opened the little packet, I thought it was Frankincense, but then its scent was more gentle somehow, and sweeter. It also left a sticky powder on my hands.

I thought of this giant and how it had been defeated by its surroundings; the harsh winds and unforgiving landscape dooming it to a permanent state of bed-rest and eventual decay. And yet there it was, still oozing out its precious golden sap regardless.

A few weeks earlier I had spent some time in my home country South Africa, as well as Botswana, where circumstances required that I take anti-malaria medication as a precaution. As soon as I started taking this I could feel my body’s silent protest. The joint in my little finger started to ache and my dreams turned vividly darker. Because we were staying in camps that were open to pretty much any and all wildlife, waking up to the roars of lions nearby meant that my adrenals were working overtime. On returning to South Africa, and then to Canada, I could feel that my body was taking strain and I made a mental note to look into finding something to support my adrenals.

It was not until after I received the healing resin from my friend did I find out that Black Spruce is known to strengthen and support the adrenal glands during times of stress and fatigue. According to the blog Essence of Thyme, Black Spruce is grounding and sedating while at the same time uplifting. It is wonderful when working with the root (1st chakra) and heart (4th chakra). It assists us in working with our shadow side thus allowing a higher vibration to occur.

It’s actually incredible how much support there is available to us from the natural world. I think in general we’re so stuck in the mindset that it’s not possible to receive what we need, so we don’t even ask. And then continually not receiving strengthens this belief even more. What is the answer to our asking that we’re not yet willing to see? Perhaps it’s so far out of our habitual perceptions that we don’t yet see it as our answer, or part of our answer.

This is something I’m working on; opening up my mind to immense possibility. I think the more time we spend in awe of the natural world around us, and just how magnificent it really is, the more we allow ourselves to receive what we really need.



Many of us are living in prisons of our own keeping. I say “keeping” instead of “making” because it’s not really helpful to blame ourselves or others for the presence of these walls. Yes we’ve all been treated horribly at times, and the lists of reasons why we should keep the walls up around ourselves are completely valid.

But if we look a little closer it’s not just the walls that are stopping even the things that we say we want from coming closer, it’s everything we have written onto these walls. Whenever we experience anything in life, what do we make it mean? Somebody leaves us, or disappoints us massively and the residue of this experience shows up in what we have written into our own energy field. Usually it’s something along the lines of “I’m not valuable, I’m not enough or good enough, I’m not worthy, loveable or deserving, I don’t belong or fit in, I’m bad.” Sound familiar?

These are our false core beliefs. As babies we come into this world purely innocent and whole in our capacity for love. There is no way we doubt our worthiness to have our needs met. Most people would never look at a baby and think, you’re just not worthy of being loved. And yet this is the heartbreaking thing that happens in this world. There is a devastating chain reaction of seemingly not enough love to go around, which then starts showing up on the walls of our energy field as what we then make this mean about ourselves. This writing then acts as the script for the experiences we attract into our lives, until we make the conscious choice to look a little closer.

This process of looking closer is what is known as “shadow work”. Essentially we’re looking into the darkest parts of ourselves, the parts that are usually buried deep in the subconscious. It’s probably the least glamorous process out there and is the most difficult to offer as a tool because quite frankly, most people don’t want to spend their time cleaning graffiti off a wall. It’s also highly tempting to look outwards and blame others or Life as the source of our problems. Neither of these options is particularly helpful or empowering.

What’s the alternative? Get curious. Use the red flag of your emotions to find out what’s really going on. Stare back at all the writing on the walls of your own keeping and start questioning if any of it is really true. Feel the residue of those words in your body. What do they feel like? Where did they come from? Where are they living inside of you?

And then make a choice. Decide if you want to keep staring at those words on that wall and feeling the discord in your body, or if you would rather write something a little kinder, more loving, more TRUE. And then see how this feels in your body. Do you feel more at ease, more whole, more IN LOVE? Do you feel more aligned with your essence?

These “new” words are much lighter. Their frequency is higher and they don’t need walls on which to stick. They are like golden threads woven into fine silk garments, and they allow you to move, to dance, to connect.

Doesn’t that feel more comfortable?


DSC_0116 (1).jpg

Whether we are male or female we all have the opposite energy polarity within us to some degree or other. Finding our natural balance and flow between the energy polarities is a life long process. It’s fascinating to observe the cultural and familial preferences for one energy system over another. The way of the masculine has been the dominant “choice” for centuries.

Even in my lifetime, I grew up with the perception that doing was superior to beingcontrol was stronger than surrendermental trumped emotional and the provider was somehow more valuable than the nester. I came to the conclusion therefore that in order to be valuable, I needed to succeed in the right way. And the right way in my mind was the masculine way.

What if there is a way that values both? We hear a lot these days about how important it is to surrender in life. Essentially surrender is the opposite of control, a distinctly masculine quality. But does this mean feminine power is passive? It’s actually the opposite of passive – it’s assertive.

Being assertive is incredibly powerful. It’s the dance between surrender and action. I would go further to say it’s action that’s aligned with inspired knowing and inner wisdom. It’s intuition projected out into the world. It paints a picture quite different to the one that comes from mindless control and rigid structure. Feminine assertiveness is ferocious, yet soft and yielding. It’s far from weak, it’s the nurturing of life itself.

I’ve always found it difficult to surrender. When I was on retreat recently spending time with a herd of horses, a few people around me noticed that many of the horses were lying down in my presence. At first I thought this was just coincidence, but then I realized it was happening. For a while I didn’t understand what this meant until a few weeks later, while chatting with a friend, she mentioned that they were showing me something important. They were teaching me about surrender.

Soon after this I had a dream that I was on a raft with a number of horses that were all lying down. I was lying at their feet and every time I tried to move or get up, they would start kicking. So I needed to keep very still to avoid being kicked. This dream was extremely symbolic of my life circumstances at the time. There was so much I was letting go of, and my need to fight this or resist it in any way did not help me in the slightest. The only option left was to surrender to where I was.

How often when our lives start to fall apart do we go into “fix it” mode. Maybe the very reason why things are falling apart is because they need to fall apart. The very structures that were not supporting us need to become completely dismantled so that the ground is clear for something new to grow. Collectively we are so afraid of decomposition. Anything that breaks down signals death. To many this seems unnatural and going against the flow of life. The emptiness can be frightening. But it can also signal freedom and new life.

Resisting change makes our lives very difficult. If we can accept that life is changing anyway with or without us, it becomes easier to create a life by design instead of by default. Starting with an intention is a powerful tool for positive change. Once we have set the intent, and committed to the process as a whole, an invisible force takes over. We have signalled our preferences to Life itself. Essentially we have given permission for anything that is not serving our intent to fall away. We have become co-creators with Life.

Empowered surrender is being mindful that there is more to our lives than we can immediately see or touch. It is a state of trust in the ultimate goodness of life. This is extremely challenging when everything we are seeing or feeling is the opposite. And this is why it remains so important to stay grounded in being, which is our true source of power. The way of the Feminine is the path of least resistance. We accept what is, but this does not mean in any way that we accept defeat. It means that in the complete collapse of our lives as we knew them to be, we use the compost of these experiences to nourish the new life that is to come, and we allow the tiny shoots of pure joy to make their way up towards the light.


DSC_0147 (1).jpg

I had been sitting against a wooden fence in the horses’ birthing stall for a few hours already. Picasso was lying down and Magic was standing behind and above him. I was attending a week long retreat with Liz Mitten Ryan and a herd of horses at Gateway 2 Ranch near Kamloops, BC. That morning I had mentioned to one of the women on retreat that I wished one of the horses would lay its head in my lap. We had been practicing telepathy: imagining a scenario in our minds and then sending it to one of the horses. I sent an image to Picasso and waited. I connected with my breath and breathed into my heart centre, which calmed me.

Some of the other horses shifted position and opened up a space for me to sit right next to Picasso. I moved slowly and quietly kneeled down beside him. Magic was standing behind and above me. Normally I would have felt really nervous sitting beneath a standing horse, but I trusted her. Picasso became sleepier and his head got heavier as he slowly lowered it into my lap. He stayed there for a few minutes while I stroked the side of his face and down his forehead and nose. I was in horse heaven.

I’ve been working with the tool of imagination. When life doesn’t go the way we hope or expect it can cause us to seriously doubt our role as creators in our lives. There is so much else to consider, such as timing and other people or animal’s free will. No matter how much we might imagine something to happen a certain way, at some point we have to let go of the specific form it will take. What’s important is the essence of how we feel. Once we are vibrating as this specific feeling essence, then it is the law of attraction which follows that matching vibrations will show up in your experience.

Recently I decided to practice this. I was watching one of Teal Swan’s videos where she suggests to pick something that you’re not particularly attached to, such as a bowling ball, or a chicken, and spend five minutes each day for two weeks meditating on this. For the simple reason that I did not want these things showing up in my reality, I decided to pick a butterfly. For the past ten days I’ve been doing this and I am convinced it works.

Butterflies have been showing up more and more in my life. About a week ago I decided to watch a movie that I wouldn’t normally pick. In the first scene there was a blue butterfly. A couple of days ago I was rummaging through a box where I keep wrapping paper and I found a paper bag with a huge butterfly on it, which I had completely forgotten about. I’ve also come across quotes and images of butterflies on Facebook and in Youtube videos that I have ‘randomly’ come across. I went to the hardware store to get some mason jars and as I was leaving I noticed a butterfly sticker on the door. The guy in the store sent me to another shop to find smaller jars, and as I was in there I walked past a butterfly sculpture on the shelf.

What we focus on grows. It’s not always easy to focus on the positive when we’re not feeling very positive. Often there is work to do in uncovering what these feelings are telling us. What are the shadow aspects of ourselves that need to be revealed and brought into the light to be healed? Working with our shadow is a lot easier to do with the right support. Find supportive people who are able to hold space for you. This process can feel as if you are in a cocoon. It is really helpful to have someone who can see your wings and remind you of who you really are. Remember the butterfly. If you are interested in working with me I offer 1:1 coaching sessions designed to support you through this process.



I was in that half wake half sleep state and light was already streaming through the windows. I spoke the words out loud as I heard them in my dream, “There’s a doctor as a horse”. I repeated them as if I were repeating something in a foreign language, and it took a while for me to comprehend what I was saying. There’s a doctor as a horse. I sat upright and wrote the words down quickly so I wouldn’t forget them.

For months I had been having recurring dreams about past relationships. I had done so much work on myself already: energy clearing, meditation, journaling, courses, and still the dreams. The night before I received the message about the horse I had asked for guidance.

The following night I dreamt I was lying on the ground and a black horse was standing over me. She bowed down over me and then lifted her neck up, ran and jumped over a barbed wire fence. I remember thinking how amazing it was that she could do that. Was she showing me a way out?

A month or two before this a friend had given me the name of a horse therapy centre just outside of Vancouver. I had checked them out online and felt drawn. I decided it was time to give them a call.

Krista, the owner of the centre, was very friendly and open. She told me how it had all started, and specifically that many people came to receive help with relationships. We spoke for a while before she mentioned Cricket, a mare, she said, who was quite the astral traveler, and had appeared in many people’s dreams. I asked her if Cricket was black, and she said yes. I had a feeling it was her in my dream.

A few weeks later I went to visit the centre and as soon as I walked into the barn I felt drawn to Cricket. She seemed equally interested in me and we spent some time connecting. I decided to come back for a full 2-hour session, which I did a few weeks later.

She was out in the field when I arrived and Krista and I walked up slowly and stood next to her. She was munching on grass and not in the least bit interested that we were there. I started to feel slightly anxious and Krista asked me what I was feeling in my body. I told her about the tension in my stomach area. She asked me to breathe into it, which I did. A short while later Romeo, a gelding, came up behind me and started nibbling on the back of my legs trying to get my attention. I turned around and he then tried to nibble my arm. I stepped back and Krista explained that in horse language this means that I had shown him that he was now dominant. Apparently Romeo is an expert horse for working with boundaries.  She said that it seemed Romeo had chosen me to work with him and seeing that Cricket was happily munching grass, perhaps I really needed to work with him instead. I agreed.

So we went into the round pen and once again Romeo came into my space. I felt uncomfortable and Krista suggested that we find the distance where I would feel comfortable with him. She drew a large circle on the ground, about 4 or 5 feet around me, and Romeo was only allowed to stay on the outside of the circle. He stayed, and after a while moved to the outside of the pen where Rayne, a mare, was calling for his attention. Normally these two didn’t get on well at all and had to be kept apart from each other, but Rayne seemed as interested in getting his attention as she was at trying to show she wasn’t interested. As I was watching her I realized that I too often gave out mixed signals. Come closer. No go away. She made a huge noise and fuss when he was close to her, almost reprimanding him for coming so close, and yet she didn’t move away. She wanted him there. She just wanted him to respect her.

After a while Krista lead Romeo back into the circle and she suggested that I lead him around the pen. I was nervous. I tried to get him to move and he wasn’t interested in the slightest. I tried harder but I wasn’t convinced myself and this showed. He was responding to my energy and not just my words. I started to feel bad for wanting another being to do something against his will. This was the way that I saw it. Krista explained to me that I needed to convince him that it would be worth his time and effort to do what I suggested. Horses are prey animals and they will conserve energy as much as possible. She suggested I try using a whip and tap him lightly on his side. She explained that the whip would be an extension of your arm and therefore an extension of energy, not seen or used as a weapon. I tried this but I felt really uncomfortable. He moved part way round the pen and then lost interest. At one point he tried to get closer to Rayne.

After a while something inside of me shifted. Without the whip I just decided I wanted him to move. Immediately he felt this and it became effortless. As I moved he followed. We went round and round and round and round. When we eventually stopped I felt like all the fear had melted away. He was in my space and I was comfortable. I stroked his forehead and down his soft nose and could feel where his energy met mine. I knew where my boundaries were and I wasn’t afraid to assert them. We could play in this space.

Something in me had shifted that no amount of reading, meditating or journaling could have done. It felt like my body was speaking to me again, or I was more able to listen. The channels of communication had cleared and there was movement into a new way of being in relationship.

Apparently after I left, Romeo and Rayne continued to deepen their bond, and for the first time ever they were pastured together peacefully. And about 7 weeks later the whole heard came together in peaceful integration, for the first time since Rayne’s arrival three years earlier.